


Batman and Robin

by FrivolousSuits



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Machel is still married, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 18:33:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14795756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrivolousSuits/pseuds/FrivolousSuits
Summary: When Harvey comes to visit Seattle, six-year-old Robin Zane-Ross knocks on his guest room door. “Uncle Harvey, I need to hire you as my lawyer.”Harvey looks down at her, wearing a frilly pink dress, literally bouncing up and down. “May I ask why?”“Privilege.”





	Batman and Robin

When Harvey comes to visit Seattle, six-year-old Robin Zane-Ross knocks on his guest room door. “Uncle Harvey, I need to hire you as my lawyer.”

Harvey looks down at her, dressed in a frilly pink dress, literally bouncing up and down. “May I ask why?”

“Privilege.”

Harvey nods slowly, as if he’s thinking deeply on the subject. “Don’t tell my other clients, but I can take you on pro bono.”

Her face splits into a wide grin. “I love getting stuff pro bono.”

“Of course you do,” he says wryly, holding the door open for her.

* * *

Once she’s arranged herself on the guest room window seat– her favorite spot to sit whenever he’s in town– he folds his hands and puts his poker face in place, ready for anything. “So how can I help you, Miss Zane-Ross?”

She pouts for a second, carefully selecting her words. “It’s a matter of the heart.”

“I’m not sure I’ll be much help.”

“Still can’t hurt,” she sniffs, and Harvey suppresses a laugh.

“So who’s the lucky boy?”

She gives him a reproachful look. “Caitlyn.”

“I’m sorry,” he says at once, “for drawing conclusions without proper evidence. What’s Caitlyn like?”

“She’s way older than me.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, she’s in second grade.”

“I see,” he says, nodding sagely. “What else?”

“She’s the only person at school who’s read all the Harry Potter books.” She wrinkles up her nose and adds, “She likes Gryffindor more than Ravenclaw, but I can work with that.”

“So what’s your question for me?”

“How do I tell her I like her?”

“Have you tried telling her you like her?”

She gives him the stink eye. “You’re not helpful.”

He drops his jaw in mock-offense. “How is that not helpful?”

“It can’t be good advice, you never follow it.”

“Who said I never follow it?”

“I did.”

He doesn’t try arguing the point. “Then maybe you should try being friends with her. Give her gifts, talk to her about books you both like, play games with her–”

“Mind games?”

“Board games.”

“I would play tag or tetherball, but I don’t think people like me more when I’m concussed.”

Harvey laughs; she’s got her father’s sense of coordination.

“I don’t know,” he replies, “she might enjoy rescuing you. Not that I recommend putting yourself in danger for love, it’s a bad habit.”

“Hm.” She twists one of her curls around her finger, a thoughtful look on her face. “I would ask Dad for help, but Mom says he’s gotten very bad at communication.”

“Does she?” He forces the curiosity out of his voice and bites down on the impulse to interrogate a six-year-old.

“Yeah,” she says. “I asked Mom what I should do, and she just laughed and said I was very cute.”

“She’s not wrong.”

Robin dramatically rolls her eyes. “She also said I’ll probably like boys when I grow up.”

Harvey freezes.

“It’s possible,” he finally says, his tone cautious. “You might like girls, or boys, or both.”

“When did you know you liked boys?”

He’s had four years of practice conversing with Robin, which is why his poker face doesn’t shatter on the spot. “Why do you think I like boys?”

“I looked up how people act when they’re in love, so that I don’t act that way and give it away to Caitlyn by accident.”

“And how do people act when they’re in love?”

“They smile too much, and they try to spend lots of time with you, and they laugh at your jokes even when you’re not funny.” She shrugs. “So basically how you act with Dad.”

Harvey stares at her, straining against speechlessness. “Does your dad know?”

“No.”

“Okay,” he breathes, nodding slowly. “Okay. Well, I’d prefer if you didn’t tell him, it would cause a lot of problems.”

“All right,” she answers, sounding melancholy for a second before she brightens again. “Hey, you said I should give Caitlyn gifts, right?”

“That might help, yes.”

“So I need money, right?”

“That . . . isn’t strictly necessary, but it could be useful–”

“So you should hire me as your lawyer.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Why is that?”

“You need privilege,” she chirps. “Otherwise I’m going to run around the house, singing, ‘Daddy and Harvey, sitting in a tree-’”

“Robin,” he scolds, “didn’t your dad teach you it’s bad practice to coerce people into hiring you?”

“Yes,” she retorts, “but you also taught me to press where it hurts.”

That’s it– Harvey throws his head back and laughs until his sides hurt. Still cracking up, he says, “I’ll give you fifteen dollars.”

“Fifty.”

“Twenty.”

“Twenty-five.”

He reaches for his wallet, still grinning and shaking his head. “You have a deal.”


End file.
